Ok, this isn’t so much of a “tirade”…I just really like alliteration…and assonance…and ellipses! (This is what happens to English teachers who have been out of the classroom too long.)

As I finish up my first month of bed rest, I still haven’t quite figured out what to do with myself – excessive napping tends to be my biggest crutch. Afterall, if I’m sleeping I’m not tempted to wander around the house, clean the kitchen, or do laundry. Apparently my cervix is a tattle tale, so we’ll just leave it at that.

My major accomplishments thus far include finishing a few books; creating a birth plan; finding a doula; praying scripture over my pregnancy, labor, and delivery; compiling a “birth playlist” for my iPhone; practicing relaxation and breating techniques; cutting my own hair; and keeping Amazon.com in business. I figure that bed rest will keep me from a traditional baby shower, so I don’t want to be high and dry when Asher makes his debut.

Currently, I’m half-way through Marie Mongan’s HypnoBirthing book. There’s so much science, research, and medical knowledge to back-up this method it’s incredible! For personal reasons, I’ve chosen to do everything within my power to avoid induction and an epidural. I’m not on a crusade; I have nothing against those things; nor do I judge anyone who chooses to use them. Healthy babies are all that matter, not how they get here! I belive God designed my body to do certain things, and I want the opportunity to experience his holy and perfect design. Whatever pain may be associated with labor is nothing compared to the pain Christ endured for me, so I figure in the grand scheme of things I have no room to complain.

There are many who immediately dismiss my decision as stupid, fanatical, or believe I’m trying to prove something. On the contrary, I belive labor and delivery decisions are private family matters that should be discussed and supported by those involved in the birthing process. I would never criticize or belittle someone for their medical decisions, but it shocks me the way acquaintences and strangers react to my choices. Recently I was told to “just get the epidural and enjoy labor.” I absolutely do plan on enjoying the birth of my child, and I prefer to do it on my own terms…within the confines of medical safety and doctor supervision, of course.

As of today, I have approximately 83 days until I meet the tiny litte guy who is going to forever change my world. God has charged me with being a parent to this wonderful miracle, and I will do absolutely everything in my power to do what is right for me and my family. Looking back at the time I’ve spent with my own family, I am overwhelmed by God’s blessings. That He would allow me the privalege of leading and guiding this little life is something I have difficulty comprehending. I long to be the type of mom that my granny and mother have been. I want Asher to know the gentle love and grace from Mark that I have experienced from my own father. It’s been a huge blessing to see my brother become a wonderful daddy, and I know Mark will be an absolutely wonderful father to our son…he already is!