Conquer the Chaos

A common theme among tired mamas is the dreaded feeling of overwhelm. Laundry. Dishes. Cooking. Cleaning. Over and over and over again. We sometimes walk a fine line between the daily rhythms of grace and the cacophonous craziness that knocks us off balance. Perhaps it’s my almost twenty years of military experience, perhaps it’s the example of my own mother who steadfastly managed our home…perhaps it’s both…but I’ve come up with a proactive approach to keep my household flowing in rhythms of grace. Some of these tips come from my own experience and practices, others come from mothers I’ve met over the years, and still some others come from FlyLady’s recommendations.

Laundry Tips: One load a day keeps the crazy away.

Every stitch of clothing and dirty towel goes into the washing machine, all day long. At night, when everyone is in fresh, clean pajamas, run the washing machine on cold water. Go to bed. After decades of not separating my laundry by colors or fabrics, I’ve never had an issue. (At most, wash the whites/reds separately.) When you wake up in the morning, put the laundry in the dryer to tumble on low heat. Forty minutes later, I take everything out and have the kids help fold their laundry. Since I’m only washing a day’s worth of clothes, the folding and putting away never takes long. All of the laundry is done before 8:00am, every single day.

Dishes Tips: Skip the sink and go right to the rack.

If I can keep my sink empty, the rest of the kitchen seems to follow suit. When my sink runneth over, so do the countertops and tabletops. Crazy how that happens! Put every plate, cup, fork, and dish directly into the dishwasher–all day long. After you turn on the washing machine in the evening, run the dishwasher, even if the racks aren’t 100% full. If it happens to fill up halfway through the day, run it right away. When it beeps to tell you it’s finished, let the steam out and close a dishtowel inside the dishwasher. (You can fold it over the dishwasher door, half on the outside, half actually inside the dishwasher. It will dry your dishes faster.) Check them after 30-45 minutes and unload them. Waking up to a clean sink, free of dirty dishes, helps start my day off right! After you put the laundry in the dryer, unload the dishwasher. All of the dishes will be clean and put away before 8:15am, every single day.

Cooking Tips: Mindful menus make the meals.

Choose seven to ten tried and true favorite meals–healthy, nutritious, and loved by the whole family–and make a menu. You can do this every week, two weeks, month, or seasonally, depending on how much variety you want. Filling all of the nutritional gaps, I plan dinners that will make everyone in the family happy. Smoothies are a great way to ensure my kids get all of the fruits and veggies they need, and those can be served at breakfast, lunch, as a snack, or as part of dinner. In our house, we have charcuterie Mondays, taco Tuesdays, grilled chicken and veggie Wednesdays, chicken and rice stir-fry Thursdays, homemade pizza Fridays, breakfast for dinner Saturdays, and leftover or grilled cheese Sundays. Utilize an Instant Pot in the afternoons to put your meal prep on autopilot.

Cleaning Tips: Swish and swipe to save your sanity.

Each morning, after finishing the laundry and dishes, run a toilet brush around each toilet bowl. Definitely clean all of them weekly, but you can keep toilets looking clean by swirling a brush around the bowl after the first morning flush of the day. I keep toilet brushes next to each toilet in my house, so it takes minimal effort on my part. In the afternoons after you’ve fired up the Instant Pot, have your kids (even the toddlers) help you with a Home Blessing. Turn on fun, upbeat music and set a timer for fifteen minutes. Tidy up the main areas of your house before dinner–clean off countertops, wipe down the table, put away toys. You don’t need to worry about laundry or dishes, because those were done hours ago! This method doesn’t deep clean your house, but it keeps your home presentable for unexpected guests, and it’s ready for a deep cleaning whenever you actually get the time.

Spiritual Practices: Focus on what you CAN do, and lean into Jesus.

There was a while I couldn’t manage to have the idyllic devotional times that I’d enjoyed before having children. Rather than lamenting what I couldn’t do, I embraced what I could do…and left my inadequacies at the feet of Jesus. My kids and I listened to Seeds Family Worship music as we did chores or played games. I kept Andrew Peterson’s music on in the background for hours and hours at a time. His songs of scripture wafted through the walls of our home and encouraged me to keep going in the midst of my exhaustion. Rather than carving out a specific, stringent prayer time, I inhaled and exhaled Jesus with every breath; I listened for his gentle leading in the quiet moments, and I shared my heart with him all throughout the day. Those daily, mundane tasks of loading and unloading, cooking and cleaning, are invitations to prayer.

Don’t add to the overwhelm by trying to do everything all at once. Choose one thing to focus on, and work at it until it becomes a habit. Then, do the next thing. The old adage is true: Slow and steady wins the race. Within six weeks, you can calm the storm of weariness and find Sabbath margin in your home. Rest in Jesus, sweet friend.

Shaping your Child’s Story

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Each child has been created and formed with the fingerprints of God. As parents, our job is to look at our children through the lens of grace, paying special attention to the unique Imago Dei stamped onto their hearts. Stories shape us from the very beginning; we were all born with the Redemption Story imprinted into our souls. The stories we read in our homes spark unseen flames within the minds of our children. Reading hero stories leads them into creative worlds where their imaginations sprout wings and soar above the heights.

One of my homeschooling goals is to launch my boys into unseen realms of imagination and creativity — be it crafting Lego worlds, making endless art projects with copious amounts of glitter glue, or writing their own stories. I welcome boredom and use it as a catalyst in our home to bring my sons to adventure into the wilderness of learning.

Early on, I realized Asher, my oldest son, simply bubbles over with stories. He spends endless time in the backyard wondering and musing and imagining. So, I bought him a journal. He takes that journal into nature and writes whatever is on his heart. My youngest son, Keane, comes alive with artistic creativity; Monet’s art held his five-year-old attention in ways that blew my mind. So, I bought him an arsenal of art supplies. He’ll grab his art boxes, spread them out on the floor, and create for hours at a time.

When Asher began crafting elaborate imaginative stories, I told him to write them in his journal. The “problem” was that his imagination and vocabulary exceeded his young writing ability. The solution? I set him up with a microphone and an iPad in a quiet room, and had him dictate his story as a video. Clipping that microphone to his little shirt made him feel so important! He recorded six chapters with eagerness and excitement, and then proudly brought me the iPad. I took his recording, typed it up, printed it out, and helped him create his first book. If that’s all we did, that would have been enough! He proudly showed off his book to all of the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

But, I decided to go further. I reached out to one of my cousins who is a professional artist; I commissioned artwork for the characters in Asher’s story. Then, I took that artwork and used the magical powers of Amazon to publish my eight year old’s story as a Kindle version and a paperback version. I wanted to launch his efforts and story-filled imagination into the world so he could tangibly see that the stories God has placed on his heart are important. He has a message worth sharing — we all do!

What have you seen in your own children that is begging to be launched into the world? Their passions should guide education far beyond workbooks or curriculum. God has created them to share his story of redemption in ways that only they can, with their God-given talents and abilities! May our eyes be opened to the Imago Dei artfully crafted into each one of our precious children.

A Qualified Homeschool Teacher?

I am a certified educator who taught high school English in Texas and in England for a total of six years. My teaching experience includes gifted and talented education, pre-Advanced Placement, Advanced Placement, accelerated courses, and university-prep courses. After leaving public school classrooms, I went on to teach in a private pre-kindergarten program for a short stint. The last few years found me involved in adult education where I co-led Shakespeare classes for military veterans. I’m also in my eighteenth year of service in the Air Force National Guard, where I’ve received top-notch leadership training. Since 2011, I’ve authored, co-authored, and contributed writing to four published books. I’ve been interviewed by local media, a prominent podcaster, and—quite miraculously—found myself as an official staff member at a nationally-recognized theatre. Oh, and I’ve homeschooled my two sons since the very beginning.

All of that sounds really good on paper, doesn’t it? But I want to let you in on a little secret: None of that qualifies me to be a homeschooling educator.

What does qualify someone to be a homeschool teacher? A love for one’s own children. If you love your babies—even those giant, overgrown babies—from the depths of your being, you are qualified to teach your children! I can confidently assure you that my university degree, state certification, and leadership training do not make me a good homeschooling mom. In fact, my experience in formal classrooms was more of a hindrance than a help. A love for my children and a passion to learn alongside them is the only qualification I need.

Sweet Mama, if you are feeling less than confident, anxious, fearful, or inadequate, please hear me: No one is more qualified to come alongside your children and walk this educational journey than you are.

You were created in the image and likeness of God!

His works are wonderful, and you know that full well!

You have the mind of Christ!

Go back and read those statements again. Put them in first-person and say them out loud. Repeat until you believe it! You stand on HIS truth, goodness, and beauty. God is in the business of redemption; if you feel your own education was inadequate, He will redeem your education as you teach your child!

Walking in faith is hard. Saying yes to the unknown is hard. What you’re doing—whether it’s for a season or for the duration—might seem impossible. But I’m here to tell you it’s not! When you give God your yes and invite His holy interruption, He will show up. He will equip you to do the hard things. He will give you the strength for each day, the wisdom to lead, and the passion to persevere. There is plenty of oil for your lamp, and He’s waiting to give it to you!

Courage, dear heart! Where you’ve been called, you will be equipped. Remember He is for you and He will never leave you nor forsake you. Please know I’m cheering you on every step of the way. You’ve got this! May you rest in the arms of the One who painted the stars in the canvas of heaven.

A Day in the Life: Our Homeschool Routine

We’re three years into our homeschooling journey, and my boys are currently ages six and four. I taught high school English for six years as a young adult; that experience solidified my desire to home educate my future children. Every day is an adventure, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world! As the seasons come and go, time has taught me that I’m not one to stick to rigorous time-stamped schedules. Routines and rhythms ebb and flow with our family’s needs, so following the Holy Spirit’s guidance it paramount to thriving where we’re planted. (Enter Sally Clarkson as my discipleship guru and mentor.)

At this age and stage of life, I’ve come to realize we (my two boys and myself) successfully operate in twenty-minute increments before we all need mental breaks. I follow a basic routine about three days each week. The other days are reserved for our homeschool community day, forest school (we take hikes in a local nature preserve), and field trips thrown in here and there. On Friday afternoons, we have a standing art playdate with our sweet friends in the neighborhood. We enjoy doing projects from Masterpiece Society!

Below is a general overview of our at-home days. Please understand we don’t follow this to a T! (Times are all approximations clearly denoted by the highly technical term “ish!”) I follow my boys’ needs as they arise, so it’s rather easy to switch, change, and rearrange our routine.

Play breaks are built in throughout the day; I don’t ever expect them to sit still for longer than five or seven minutes at a time, we’re not big on workbooks, and nature walks are my secret weapon! Sometimes those “play breaks” involve them helping clean the house! (These fun sweeper socks leave them practically begging to clean the floor.)

Cleaning is fun when we turn it into a game!

If things are going a little crazy, we pop on our shoes and go collect leaves or hunt for minnows in our neighborhood pond. If they’ve been big helpers around the house (or if I need a change of scenery), we’ll drop everything and head to the zoo, LegoLand, a museum, or the park. We listen to memory work, audiobooks, and fun learning songs as we drive.

The following “schedule” is an attempt to (hopefully) answer that persistent question all homeschoolers encounter: What do you do all day?!

6:30am — I wake up for quiet time and a cup of tea.

7:00ish — The kids wake up and eat breakfast.

8:00ish — Everyone brushes teeth and gets dressed.

8:30ish — The 3Rs: handwriting practice, read one book out loud to me (or Dad, if he’s home), and practice math facts.

9:00ish — The kids go play outside while I do a bit of dishes/laundry or finish getting myself ready for the day.

9:30ish — Morning Time, prayer, and devotional. Check out Pam Barnhill’s website for more info about Morning Time. We do a loop schedule for nature study, grammar, logic, and idioms at the end of Morning Time.

10:00ish — The kids go play in their bedroom or outside, depending on the unpredictable Texas weather.

10:30ish — Snack time!

11:00ish — Reading aloud and narration. I read while they “quietly” play with Legos/magnet blocks/playdough, and then the six-year-old narrates what he heard. Check out Know and Tell by Karen Glass for more info on narration, and Sarah Mackenzie’s website for info on reading aloud. Some days I read Story of the World for history, and other days I read a few pages of Theodore Gray’s books for science.

11:30ish — The boys continue playing with Legos/magnet blocks/playdough while I do more housework and make lunch.

12:00ish — Lunch time!

1:00ish — The boys watch some type of educational show while I do more housework. (Because it literally never ends!)

DVDs: Preschool Prep, WhistleFritz Spanish or French, Song School Latin, or Schoolhouse Rock

YouTube: Kids Learning Tube, Jack Hartmann, or NatGeo Kids

2:00ish — The TV is turned off, and the boys listen to educational songs, an audiobook, or memory work music while playing in their room.

2:30 (on the dot!) — TEA TIME! I read poems, a missionary biography, or a fairy tale while we have tea. The boys drink lemonade in the spring and summer, then cider in autumn and winter. I drink tea all day, every day! Check out Julie Bogart’s webpage for more info on Poetry Teatime.

3:00ish — The boys clean up all of their toys, and then I read aloud some more. This time they choose their own books; we snuggle up on the couch with soft Celtic music playing in the background. Sometimes they fall asleep…sometimes I do, too.

3:30ish — I start prepping for dinner while the boys color or do some other simple project. They can also play in their room, look at books together, or play outside. Basically anything that doesn’t require my help and doesn’t make a mess! Once I finish dinner prep and everything is in the oven, I attempt to kick back in my rocking chair and read for myself…this is a rare occurrence.

5:00ish — Dinner time!

6:00ish — While I clean up the kitchen, it’s Daddy playtime! Dad also gets them bathed and brushes their teeth. Then we put away more toys that have inevitably been hauled back into the living room.

7:00ish — Bible reading with Daddy — they cuddle up with pillows in the living room floor and listen while Dad reads Bible stories.

7:30ish — Bed time show. They’re really into Peter Rabbit since we’ve been reading lots of Beatrix Potter. So, one night they get to watch Peter Rabbit (Amazon), and the next night they’ll watch SuperBook (RightNow Media and Amazon).

8:00ish — Bedtime blessings and lights out! They fall asleep listening to Celtic lullabies and an audiobook. One night it will be James Herriot, the next it will be Beatrix Potter. We tried listening to The Action Bible for a while, but it just kept them awake!

Handwriting practice involves writing letters to family!

Drawing practice helps my 4yo learn proper grip!

Our Shalom Summer

Late spring and early summer proved to be a bit busy for our family. My husband and I were involved in a Sunday evening marriage enrichment course and a Thursday evening discipleship study — long nights for two little boys, lots of homework for Mommy and Daddy, and about twelve weeks of being stretched thinner than usual. Both courses greatly enriched our lives, and we came away from the experiences with a bevy of new friends. Win-win! We were also ready for a break…which led to our laid-back, Shalom-style summer. Lots of rest and peace for this family!

In the weeks since, we’ve kind of sheltered-in-place at home. I’ve been planning and prepping for homeschooling, spending more time in the kitchen, and allowing my mind and heart space to breathe. Nearly two months ago, I permanently deleted my Facebook account…and it has made a world of difference! Motherhood is my current mission and ministry, and I needed to prune away distractions for my own sanity. Over the past several weeks, a handful of people have asked me when I’m coming back to Facebook; I’m so relieved to say, “Never!”

This time has also allowed me to finalize our core values and family mission. Our core values came about when I was listening to a Wild+Free homeschooling podcast. Our goal for homeschooling is to create disciples and life-long learners who marvel at the world and how it works — I chose our core values based on the goals we want to achieve as a family, and the lifestyle I want our children to value. The idea for our family mission was born out of our discipleship group; I got the idea when we were talking about how our lives fit into God’s story, and how he is the author and perfecter of each of our stories. Hopefully, it will keep us mindful of our purpose.

The boys and I have started making sourdough bread — they make wonderful messes while learning about fermentation and feeding the starter. Keane is a big fan of burying his hands in the einkorn flour, than flapping his arms like a bird. This has proved to be a patience-building exercise for Mommy! My goal is to stop buying pre-made foods; I want them to value what goes into their bodies and appreciate the baking process. They eat their sourdough bread with almond butter (not yet homemade) and jelly (with dewberries and grapes they helped handpick). Next on the homemaking to-do list: homemade kvass with the leftover bread crusts, and then homemade cocoa almond butter. I’ll attempt these next kitchen adventures in a few weeks…baby steps!

As a former teacher, I’ve no doubt over-prepared for our inaugural homeschooling year. My main struggles will most likely be consistency and balance (things I struggle with in my personal life, as well). Although, I do have the benefit of Asher’s ultra-consistent personality and his passionate tenacity to learn. He’ll keep me on track…probably more than I’d like! I’m so excited to share the adventures of education with my children. It is an honor that God is allowing me to speak truth into their lives, and I do not take this journey lightly.

With the dawn of each new day, I attempt to implement spaces of Sabbath margin. If my heart and mind are intentionally focused on restful Shalom, I find that I’m more patient and peaceful with my family. I’ve traded the fancy brewing machine for a whistling kettle and teapot; I light candles to create a mellow atmosphere; we listen to music throughout the day instead of allowing the TV to be our constant soundtrack. I also scaled back my photography endeavors, which leaves more time at home with my family. Small things tend to make a world of difference in my home. My days have become a beautiful blend of delicious tea, intoxicating candles, calming essential oils, Andrew Peterson, J.J. Heller, Jill Phillips, and Andy Gullahorn. I lack the time and money for spa days and weekend getaways…but I do have the ability to craft a peaceful home.

Along with scripture, I’m working my way through several books by some of my favorite authors: Sally Clarkson, L.R. Knost, and S.D. Smith. Filling my mind and heart with beautiful words written by inspired authors keeps me focused on truth, goodness, and beauty. It’s those very elements that I long to instill in my children. Of course we still endure some crazy, chaotic days, but the foundations of Sabbath and Shalom keep me grounded in the midst of it all.